In the last few weeks, I saw The Aftermath at Melbourne's Kino cinema and Margot Tanjutco's Comedy Festival show Vanity Fair Enough at the Malthouse. I had some spare time on Good Friday, so I ate a great plate of fish and chips at the Young and Jackson Hotel with a pot of peppermint tea. I did all of these things alone.
This wasn't because I didn't have anyone to go with me. I could've roped in some friends — sometimes I do. But there are other times I make the choice to go out alone. It's liberating to buy a ticket for one. To not have to coordinate times with someone, but do things by my own schedule. To go see the niche movie none of my friends wants to see, or the art exhibition I forgot was in town until its last day.
Rebecca Ratner, co-author of the study Inhibited from Bowling Alone, says: 'People decide to not do things all the time just because they're alone ... But the thing is, they would probably be happier going out and doing something.' Her study with Rebecca Hamilton found that people felt little difference in enjoyment when going out alone for 'hedonistic' reasons than when going with others. In fact, we actually overestimate how much we would enjoy going out with other people as compared to flying solo.
It's true that there are many benefits in forming and maintaining connections with other people. But there can be just as much pleasure in your own company as in somebody else's. When I go out by myself, I can digest what I've experienced. When I go to a film, no one will talk during it, and I can cry and no one is going to care. If I wander into a gallery, I don't need to immediately articulate a reaction to a piece of art; instead I get to reflect and figure out what I actually think about it.
I relate to the world around me in a different way too. I can move about the space at my own pace, lingering when I'm interested and walking through parts I don't care about. I get to overhear bits of conversation I never would if I was having one of my own. The NGV in particular I've found is great for that type of people-watching; I guarantee you'll hear at least a half dozen different languages in