It was perhaps the greatest line ever in a spy flick. Austen Powers (Mike Myers) stands shoulder to shoulder with his father (Michael Caine), facing the villainous Goldmember (Myers). The father takes the lead: 'There are only two things I can't stand in this world: people who are intolerant of other people's cultures ... and the Dutch!'
Which in a way sums up the sentiments of a certain Dutch MP now visiting our shores. Geert Wilders will have us believe he doesn't hate Muslims. He insists he isn't opposed to multiculturalism. He just doesn't like cultural relativism. In his eyes, the religious culture of one quarter of humanity is inferior and incompatible with freedom.
As Wilders stated at his recent Melbourne Press Conference: 'I call on all the Muslims in the world to leave Islam for Christianity or atheism or whatever they want. This will be good for them and also for our free society.'
Leave Islam? What exactly does he mean? Is there a single room called Islam with a single revolving door above which is an exit sign? If one wanted to leave Islam, what steps should one take to be accepted by Wilders and his followers? What should one do to make Wilders feel safe from impending Islamic takeover?
And just what on earth are these Muslim types doing differently to everyone else now?
Let's see. They send their kids to their own schools. As we all know, no other religious congregation insists on doing the same as this 8–10 per cent of Muslim parents. How many Catholics do you know who send their kids to Catholic schools? It's unheard of. But for these Muslims, it's all about passing on their supremacist ideology.
Look at my parents, so insistent that I grow up with Islamic values that they spent thousands of dollars sending me to St Andrews Cathedral School. (It's true that the school chaplain sometimes told us kids that the prophecy of the '666' in the Book of Revelation referred to the Pope, but you know how some Sydney Anglicans are.)
Also, these Muslims don't follow our laws. They want to impose on us their own Sharia law.
I have witnessed this myself. Have you heard of Sharia-compliant swimming? Come down to my local pool in South Eastern Melbourne where I share the 'slow' lap lane with other serious swimmers.
We are a motley crew of different shapes and sizes and colours. One bearded bloke