Growing up with Aspergers the world seemed to be a very strange place. So many things around me didn't make any sense. Things seemed to just happen and I never knew why. Everyone else seemed to know what they were doing, but it was like I missed the memo.
I remember when my primary school teacher asked the class to 'find a partner'. In the time it took me to think 'Okay. How do I do that?' I looked around to find that everyone else had already found a partner. It felt like I was always one step behind. What did I miss? How did they all know what to do?
Despite my struggles, I joined in as much as I could. At school I played cricket or soccer with the other kids at lunch time. Sports were easy. They had rules. They may not have always been explained in advance, but if I ever broke one I found out straight away.
Unfortunately, in most other situations the rules aren't spelled out so clearly. What are the rules governing free time? How do I play with other kids? How do I talk to them?
The penalty for breaking a social rule is ostracism. There is no referee and no opportunity to appeal. No one told me what I did wrong. They just stopped talking to me. How was I supposed to learn these social rules? Who could teach me?
Rejected by my peers, I turned to adults, but this approach had its own problems.
I ask questions all the time. It's how I learn. Why does a cell divide? Why does a magnet produce a magnetic field? When I ask, it's because I genuinely want to know the answer.
After misbehaving, however, it seemed every question I asked made the situation worse. Why can't I do that? How was that rude? What's the difference between 'answering' and 'answering back'?
These types of questions were often misinterpreted as a protest and dealt with accordingly. I received unhelpful answers like 'because I said so', or 'you just can't'. It seemed even asking questions was rude! I wasn't trying to challenge authority. How could I communicate that I just want to learn?
My brain seems to lack a certain degree of 'pre-programming'. I am naturally open-minded and non-judgemental. When asked a question I immediately (and often dispassionately) think of many possible solutions. This is great for questions like 'How can we improve