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ARTS AND CULTURE

Local anti-hero

  • 19 September 2007

Local Anti-hero He meditates in saffron alone in a yurt. Writing music and busking now, abstinence and rice have rendered him thin. He cakes a mudpack to his sunburnt brow, fashions bangles from gumnuts. Bass Strait heaves as he strides with Walkman, staff, and backpack beneath Mount Killiecrankie's peak. He grieves for damage done, sees beyond the sea wrack, flouts convention, looking like a Hindu  — see his headdress bob above the breakers — from the cray fishermen's curt point of view. The film industry's movers and shakers must seem a long way behind now, his days of editing, a retrospective haze. Small Mercies There is some warmth from the fire still. In its last, burnished light I think about a couple who lived a life together of quiet goodness offset by yearning. They argued, laughed, interrupted with shouts. The idea of women's freedom was touted and then practised — in a way, but their life was also subjected to age-old tension. He was sometimes sick with a bitter fervour she believed was her cross to bear. Hurt, he resisted her circumspection. After dark, in bed, they turned to stone instead of to each other's injured heart. The house quietened around them. Cold stars glimmered in space, each alone. They had enough money, energy to do their work, enough to seem modest models of success but she could not grow wings, could not fly to the coast of his separate dreams. They learned by heart not to envy, to accept with grace daily routine, to listen for their deaths in the distance and know this as their salvation, take from their days what they could glean. Truce When she returned after twenty-five years her family cancer travelling with her like a suitcase filled with past mistakes she was struck by how it tasted the same. The sea still crashed over enduring rocks fishing boats bobbed in the postcard harbour gaunt fishermen, remembering a wild teenager grinned, kissed her shyly in welcome. The mountain, dark, as if already in mourning love, the landmark rock, and clouds like shrouds still loomed as she watched gulls squabbling thinking what a soap opera her homecoming was. She tried to greet her sisters' needs with grace their anxious glances, their need to plug pauses tried not to weep at her stepmother's kindness the suffering in her old father's eyes.