It's time to talk about family violence

11 March 2020

Content warning: This article discusses family violence By now, in Australia, we’ve all read and seen the statistics about family violence. We’ve heard the names Hannah Baxter, and Tara Costigan. We’ve seen the outrage on social media, and the lack of action by anybody in parliament.

We’ve hoped for change, and justice for those who have lost their lives to such senseless acts. Every week there seems to be a new article floating up about a woman being murdered.

While family violence and intimate partner violence are spoken about in Australia, there isn’t much general knowledge when it comes to the court process and what happens next.

As a survivor of family violence, I think it’s time to talk about it.

Here’s what happened to me: I was attacked by someone I loved and trusted; whom I knew firsthand had a history of physically hurting others. I just never thought it would happen to me. I called 000. The responder stayed on the phone with me the entire time, awkwardly telling me to ‘just breathe. Yep, just… breathe again, okay?’ as I hyperventilated, locked in my childhood bedroom closet. He liaised with me and the police as they drove over to the house and immediately arrested my attacker.

I was shell shocked and dazed when the constable crouched down beside me in the front lawn and asked me if I wanted to press charges. I hesitated. He said, ‘what if he does this again? To another girl?’ Shame crept inside of me at the knowledge that he had done this to other girls, and other people, and I had always sat by. So, I nodded. The constable asked if he could record me for a statement, which they’d play in court, and immediately my face had been one of pure panic. The constable pushed me, gently, ‘It’s just so it’s fresh in your mind now. I ask you questions about what happened. Take your time — it’s easier to do it now, then try and remember in court, months later’. This both soothed, and didn’t soothe me, but I agreed to film a statement.

'There was something so heavy and blunt about the entire process, as if emotions weren’t allowed in a court of law.'

I had no idea what any of it meant or what was going to happen.

Things didn’t slow down, or wait for me to catch up. A couple days later, the

AUSTRALIA

It's time to talk about family violence

Subscriber login