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ARTS AND CULTURE

Finding my grandfather

  • 29 May 2017

 

Selected poems

 

 

Finding my grandfather

 

There is the photograph

of my father's father in military uniform,

an Austrian, serving in the Polish cavalry

in World War I, standing ramrod straight.

 

It is he whom I think of when

I find myself dowsing my genome for

answers regarding my origin, the deep

pull that draws me to the late symphonies

 

of Mozart, Rilke's angelic mysticism, and,

as a child, to Krapfen and Apfelstrudel.

However, how could I ever discount

the perpetual awe I find in Chopin's Etudes

 

and the wonder of the first and second

piano symphonies, the lyrical madness

in the short stories of Bruno Schulz.

That grandfather died shortly after returning

 

to his farm from the results of having been

a victim of a mustard gas attack in the war.

There are no photographs

of my mother's father, who it is said I am

 

a namesake, since she never fully recovered

from his premature death in an automobile

accident in New Jersey while driving home

in his Model-T Ford one stormy evening,

 

the spokes of two of the spinning wheels

splashing with falling rain as the car lay

on its side, overturned in a roadside ditch.

This was the grandfather who I heard

 

was beloved, and was referred to as being

reciprocal of such love in return. This

grandfather leaves no image from which I can

gaze, only the darkness from which he drank.

 

There needs not to be a photograph for

the grandfather I did have, known as Grandpa

Gorski, whom my mother's mother married

after the death of her Waju. This man I would

 

come to know as a boy of three, until he died,

three years later, when I had arrived at my full

precocity at the age of six. This grandfather

was not a true grandfather but more of one than

 

any of the others, the one who was the reconciler,

the steady one who intervened with wisdom,

who provided calm to the warring factions of my

father and grandmother, who resided in a house

 

of hysterics. I remember finding resolute trust

in this man in whom I recognized equanimity.

Moments before his death, he called for me,

and my grandmother took me to see him in their

 

room, so he could hear my playing ukulele for

him, a smile spread on his face beneath

the darkened circles around his eyes. How I can

still feel the hand he placed on my head, briefly,

 

before removing it, whereupon, he vacated

the body he had in that life, and, at least in my

imagination, arose into the storm winds that filled

the hurricane that ravaged the Floridian sky.

 

 

 

The view of the river

 

It was the view of the river

          that

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