Drunks in green attire swarm around a sticky bar table. Their Guinnesses are half full. Nearby a group of girls wear low cut singlets that read 'Kiss me I'm Irish.'
One of the men reaches for another swig of the dark dry stout. He brushes his leprechaun wig to the side of his face and admits: 'I didn't think it would taste like this.' His friend shrugs and replies 'Let's get a Tooheys next round.'
Saint Patrick's Day is one day a year where 'everyone is Irish'. I could try and explain how this is cultural appropriation but, judging from the size of my own family, I can see how the statement could be true.
The holiday itself is so laden in myths it's hard to work out what we're celebrating. My grandfather told me Patrick was a saint because he drove the frogs and snakes out of Ireland. He also told me if I stepped in a fairy ring while we were on our walks I'd disappear forever. So naturally as I grew older, I became skeptical.
My own family includes my parents, three siblings, 12 aunts and uncles and 28 first cousins. Growing up we never worried much about second cousins because there's too many to remember.
St Patrick's Day was always celebrated with my father's side of the family. The day for me would always begin as the sun rose. It started with just a plain white shirt and simple dance skirt. By the age of 15 I'd be fake tanning, applying copious amounts of makeup and securing a wig in place with hundreds of hair pins. We even glued our socks into place on our legs.
It was no drunken jig in a bar, it was years of training and set dances being passed down through generations of Irish dancers. Irish dancing can often be seen in the parades around Australia and I used to always dance at the Sydney one. I loved being up on the float and waving to my family in their green T-shirts on the roadside.
The dancing, just like the holiday, has its roots in both the culture and history of Ireland. Apparently the reason we dance with our hands by our sides has its roots in puritanical times. Unfortunately today there's very little romance to be had on stage in between the hairspray and compulsory smiles. Dating websites have now overtaken the allure of finding someone on