On the eve of the AFL Grand Final, I publicly declare my allegiance to the Collingwood Magpies. Yes, I am a Collingwood supporter, although I've always liked to think I'm not one of those Collingwood supporters: the mythical 'ferals' that give every non-Collingwood supporter slagging rights — no, I'm not one of them.
Recently, I had cause to wonder. During their round 21 match against the Adelaide Crows, the Pies, who had been in red-hot form, played poorly against an unexpectedly competitive opponent, and trailed all night. My wife (a fellow Pies supporter) and I were at the game, sitting directly in front of a flock of Crows.
One of them, a stout, middle-aged woman, was very vocal; justifiably smug about her team's dominance, but also making derogatory comments about Collingwood players and supporters. I stayed silent — we were losing, after all — and stewed.
When Collingwood won — just — through a combination of desperation and dumb luck, my relief in the wake of frustration got the better of me. I turned, leaned close to the woman behind me and screamed 'C'mon Pies!' into her slack, dejected face.
Ungracious. This woman had crossed state lines to watch her beloved team play, only to see them lose after leading all night. To top it off, she had now been savaged by one of those Collingwood ferals, which is what I must have seemed to her.
I felt ashamed, and even tried to apologise, although the effort was not well received. She believed she'd seen my true colours. I wondered if she was right. Perhaps I'd changed.
Barracking for the Pies is a bipolar experience. On the one hand I am part of the largest and most dedicated fan base of any AFL club. On the other, I suffer the vilification that has been meted upon Collingwood supporters throughout time immemorial.
The truism that anyone who doesn't love Collingwood, hates them and their fans, is long-standing and, as far as I can tell, has no basis other than tradition. The nature of the slights — Collingwood supporters are rowdy, toothless, illiterate — suggests that the stereotype has its roots amid the blue-collar communities of Collingwood and Abbotsford a century and a half ago. Whenever my brothers give me schtick about donning the black-and-white, I wink and accuse them of class prejudice.
My support has paid dividends, and not just because the Pies play an entertaining brand of football built on a foundation of guts, belief