My grannies despaired when, long ago, I strayed from Nonconformity into Greek Orthodoxy, and I fancy the august ancestors still have occasion to eye me beadily from above; I even imagine their semaphore signals.
'What do you think she's up to now, Doris?'
'Search me, Harriet. Focus that telescope. And let me know.'
The latest episode involved Monastic Retreat, which a friend and I resolved to undertake together: it was capable Marjory who found the person to contact and petition the Bishop. His Eminence declared that we had to consult the convent's priest: a kind of ecclesiastical security clearance.
We found the papas at his other scene of operations, the church of St John the Theologian, a tiny place perched on a hill in the middle of the Taygetus Range. The locals had gathered to venerate their icon of St Mary Magdalene, bearer of myrrh, Apostle to the Apostles, whose Feast Day it was. The Saint, swathed in bright summer flowers, gazed serenely from her outside stand.
Inside, Papasotiris, resplendent in red and gold, was reciting the liturgy basso profundo, assisted by a layman great of girth and beard, who looked more like a Barbary pirate than a churchgoer: one could imagine a cutlass clamped between his teeth. Another basso was singing the responses and training a talented boy of about 12, bespectacled and very earnest, who was showing extreme dedication, for chanting Byzantine psalms is like learning a demanding foreign language.
Marjory and I waited our turn to speak to the priest at the end of the service. Although we had been promised two nights at the designated convent, Papasotiris took one look at us and decided, we thought, that the frail foreign vessels would not be able to cope. Oxi, he said, firmly, and went on to describe the multiple difficulties of the monastic life. But, he said, we could go for a day, as long as we went by arrangement, and could be there for the liturgy, which would start at 7am.
We were to dress as modestly as possible; we should also be aware that the nuns maintained silence for part of the day. We nodded and agreed, like obedient children.
Greeks believe in balance, so that after spiritual needs, bodily ones are