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Confessions of a grumpy old man

  • 19 March 2015

It is becoming common to describe people who offer political, economic and cultural comment in the mainstream media as Grumpy Old Men. It is a nice insult that warms the hearts of those of us whose commentary is confined to the fringe media.

They have learned nothing, we think, forgotten nothing, have nothing new to say but come to every topic with minds made up. They are jaundiced, reactionary, pompous and are read only by other Grumpy Old Men, particularly by those in government (much to our secret envy).

And though the mainstream commentators include women and people who are relatively young, we happily judge that their writing, too, wears the musty robes of dyspeptic male gerontocracy.

We, of course, are different… ‘But, wait a moment’, my inner self interrupts, ‘Are you really so very different? You are also of a certain age; I suspect that most of your readers are also of a certain age. And you are undoubtedly a man.’

‘But, even so, I am still different’, I assert to myself. ‘I am a knight in shiny trousers, independent in judgment and motivated purely by concern for the public interest. Whereas they worship at the shrine of plutocracy, receive their messages from the economic high priests, and predictably criticise politicians for fiscal cowardice in the face of misinformed public opinion.’

‘And at whose shrine do you worship’, my guardian scold demands.

‘Well, I suppose I worship at the shrine of personalism. I might be said to receive my messages from Catholic Social Teaching, and I predictably criticise politicians for conniving with conventional economic ideologies and their beneficiaries.’

‘So, a different message, it seems’, my judicial self says dispassionately, ‘but the same delivery by interchangeable Grumpy Old Men. And the same lack of rapport with the contemporary Australian audience that thinks in text messages and images and lacks any taste for reflective reading or argument.  

‘OK’, I concede to my alter ego, ‘I may be a Grumpy Old Man. But what is so wrong with Grumpy Old Men speaking to other grumpy Old Men who share their convictions and intellectual style? After all preaching is mostly done to the converted. And doesn’t it need to be if our convictions are unpopular, whether, for example, we are appalled by the brutal Australian treatment of asylum seekers or by the craven abandonment of the Medical Co-payment. People need encouragement to keep holding unpopular views.

‘Of course, if we can