Myths are important because they tell us about who we are and what matters to us. With Father’s Day approaching it’s a good time to look at how fatherhood myths are faring.
One myth that still pops up is that fathers can’t be key players in caring for infants. Yes, mums have a huge head start with pregnancy and breastfeeding, but that’s also where dads have a crucial support role. Research shows that fathers can be highly sensitive to babies and that fathers’ heart rates increase the same as mothers when their baby cries. Caring is learnt and where mothers and fathers spend the same amount of time looking after infants, and are given the same support, they develop caring skills at the same rate. Countless dads now have the experience of being confident partners in caring for their newborns.
Another myth is that there’s nothing special about how dads care for kids. While mums and dads can share a wide range of skills in caring for children, that’s not to say mothering and fathering is the same thing! A feature that researchers like to highlight is the rough and tumble play that kids enjoy with their dads. Other researchers observe that when nursing young ones on their knees mothers, grandmas, and aunts face their infants inwards allowing eye contact, closeness, and security, while fathers, grandads, and uncles, sit infants on their knee directing their exploring attention outwards. See for yourself if it isn’t so!
There’s the bigger and more pervasive myth that fathers don’t really matter. Certainly, for many kids just having someone special who is devoted to them can make all the difference. Yet the huge benefits that positive fathering has on children’s language, learning and sociability when starting kinder, and later with kids achievement at school, blows this myth apart. Particularly around the importance of fathers teaching boys to respect girls and women.
A more recent myth is that a father’s role as ‘protector’ is old hat. Indeed, father as ‘the protector’ can get negative press because it’s sometimes confused with some men’s harmful control of their partners. Fathering classes now emphasise other ‘father types’ like nurturer, listener, engager, and ‘responsible dad’, all roles that need to be highlighted. Yet the sense that most dads have of a responsibility to ensure a safe space for their kids and protect them from harm, is fundamental to fatherhood and is still essential to cultivate.
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