Robin Williams tried to outrun the dog

14 August 2014

As human beings we do all kinds of things to avoid suffering. Drink, drugs, hobbies, television, 'retail therapy', computer games, gambling. The list is endless. It is our job to survive and avoid suffering: to huddle around our loved ones, to live and thrive and not let the shit of life get us down. This need is something we must all answer to.

For Robin Williams, it seems avoiding suffering was a very hard task. By abusing alcohol and cocaine, some might think he brought mental ill health upon himself. But those who are well don't abuse their bodies with toxic substances – because to a healthy human being this wouldn't make any sense. It is an attempt to escape pain.

I didn't know Robin Williams – although I wish I had been one of those very fortunate people. But it seems obvious that this comic genius did all he could to flee what is commonly known as the Black Dog – depression. I believe he tried to outrun his suffering. It breaks my heart that yesterday, it chased him down and backed him into a corner where there seemed only one way out.

I believe he wanted to live. I think about his films that have planted seeds in my mind which blossomed into little hope–filled memories. In particular the semi-biographical film Patch Adams (pictured). The last time I thought about that film was a mere week ago – reflecting on the female lead character Carin (Monica Potter) who yearned to be free from the men who preyed on her as a thing to be used. I remember how Patch (played by Williams) deeply loved and cherished her for the whole person she was. How patient he was with her sadness. How – despite an utterly devastating turn of events – she became his ultimate reason to not be defeated by the darkness in the world.

And I regularly think about the scene where Patch explains that helping others helps him forget about his own problems. For someone who is both brilliant and has the potential for deep sadness, finding purpose in helping others can be a liberation. It might be risky to try to carry on purely for the sake of other people without dealing with one's own demons – but what is even more dangerous is for society to make the assumption that the latter option is always within reach.

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Robin Williams tried to outrun the dog

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