Wakely, Mark. Sweet Sorrow: A Beginner's Guide to Death. Melbourne University Press, Melbourne, 2008. ISBN: 0-522-85513-X
People should read this book. It is a very good read. But it is hard to describe or categorise.
The cover captions bring out some of its indefinable qualities. Sweet Sorrow is the title, and the theme that runs throughout — a poignant flavour, a perfume that suggests both presence and absence. It's an evocative sort of book, poetic in its capacity to suggest, invite, hint.
But this is a book about death, and 'the indefinable' seems appropriate here, too.
There is a tradition in Christian theology called apophatic — literally, 'away from the light'. It is a tradition that emphasises what we do not know about the great mysteries. Wakely has some of this in his treatment of death. He outlines a way of approaching this mystery — a map, if you like. But like the maps of old, with their 'here there be dragons', this account includes cautions — 'here there be questions'.
Wakely sets the tone with his personal odyssey. This is a book about his encounter with death.
This personal mood is reinforced with the story (fictitious) of Violet and her elderly father, Hamish. Scattered vignettes help us identify with the events of their life and death, and experience some of their 'sweet sorrow'.
Violet and Hamish are our companions as we follow the writer into the mundane and arcane elements of his own journey.
Wakely has his guides. Joan Didion, the author of The year of Magical Thinking, features prominently. Didion, a widow, writes that 'in time of trouble, I had been trained since childhood, read, learn, work it up, go to the literature. Information was control.'
This brings me to the subtitle, 'A Beginner's Guide To Death'.
Wakely confesses, 'I've always put death in the too hard basket'. There are psychological grounds for this approach, Freud assures us. But there are also traditions that have run counter to it: The Tibetan Book of the Dead and a 15th century text, Ars Moriendi, (The Art of Dying).
In A Beginner's Guide To Death Wakely is in sympathy with Didion's approach to 'read, learn, work it up, go to the literature'. He does something else. He goes to the people who know.
We are introduced to a palliative care physician, Frank Brennan. The companioning approach, recommended by the grief counsellor, Alan Wolfelt, is there in the anecdotal style.
There are conversations with