At first I was afraid, I was petrified. Then I became determined to put up a fight to survive.
The truth can be terrifying, so terrifying that often we prefer avoidance or lies.
So it is with the reality of climate change. Like a diagnosis of terminal cancer, how I wish it wasn't so. If only we could go on and on, with the dream of endless abundance and growing prosperity. The problems of disease, poverty, and even war, seem dwarfed and solvable, compared to global warming.
The psyche has many defence mechanisms, to protect itself from unbearable truths. These can help us to go on against the odds. We step out the door each day, presuming we will survive to return home. We make simple plans assuming we will be around to carry them through. Every time we hit the road, we deny the dangers. We subdue our incipient fears, by telling ourselves 'It won't happen to me and mine.'
This is an effective emotional survival tactic, provided we take reasonable care, and remain vigilant. But it becomes total folly when a life-threatening danger is clearly demonstrated to follow from our actions — or failure to act — and we ignore this reality.
I am a psychologist, trained to help others with anxiety, depression, and despair, but I too wrestle with these demons. I have worried about the past and the ills that may befall my loved ones. Worries and doubts have kept me awake at night, and reduced my enjoyment of life.
I used to worry about financial ruin, an ageing body, my weight and insomnia. Yet paradoxically as I age, with little super, no retirement plan, fatter, and with still less youth and beauty, I find reality more bearable, even tranquil. I feel freer to experience a less encumbered joy.
But confronting the doom of the planet is quite another proposition.
Our relationship with fear is complex. Fear is a necessary instinct. It sets in train a reaction to imminent danger. We share our fight, flight, and freeze response with many species. It is a fantastic mind-and-body mechanism that can turn us into a champion sprinter or give us the strength to drag others to safety. In other situations we may lay low, in an induced stillness, to hide from a predator, or shelter from the terror of a fire or storm.
These mechanisms can save our lives when faced with immediate, obvious danger. We perceive