Selected poems
Hollywood Hair Cycle
I once had hair like Moses,
but now my mop is thinner.
I once was Charlton Heston,
but now I am Yul Brynner.
The Dimple Festival
When asked to celebrate the dimple,
my contribution was quite simple:
I built an altar
to John Travolta.
Phrases
The phrase ‘white men can’t dance’ is harsh but fair
…unless, of course, your name is Fred Astaire.
Airbrushed
The biopic refused to show
the mole of Marilyn Monroe.
At a Restaurant in Berlin, 1936
You asked the famous leader
to autograph your napkin.
You thought that he was Hitler.
He signed it ‘Charlie Chaplin’.
The Tears of Spock
A lot’s been said by friend and foe
about the Vulcan’s tears:
well how the hell would you react
if you possessed those ears?
Antipodean Romeo
As stars light up the jacaranda,
he’s climbing up the back veranda.
Darth Vader’s Manners
I liked him so much more when he was Anakin,
but now he’s got the manners of a mannequin.
Actor’s Lament
I have played Gandhi, King Tut,
gangster, giant, elf,
but a lifetime of lifetimes
destroyed my mental health:
if you’re all things to all men,
you’re no one to yourself.
Greta Garbo
Because you’ve been dehumanised by fame
you wanna go where no one knows your name.
Damian Balassone is the author of three volumes of poetry, including the forthcoming collection of short poems and epigrams Love is a Weird Cat.