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EDUCATION

Teaching boys to respect girls

  • 29 August 2016
  Hopefully students and families around the country are discussing the media reports about the online behaviours of adolescents, especially those that disrespect girls.

There is a police investigation into a message chat forum in which students loaded and swapped nude photos of other students. There are serious legal issues with the collection and distribution of such images. Such behaviour is unacceptable. The accounts of the online student behaviour raise issues about power and consent.

Young people flirt and explore sexuality but this should always involve trust, respect and consent. Relationships are built on empathy and a sense of intimacy. Right relationships rely on trust, and the more sensitive something is then the greater the responsibility we have to protect people's dignity. 

It is concerning that some young men presume to exercise power so callously. They make girls public property without their agreement. In objectifying others and treating sex as a commodity, they betray the fundamental aspects of good relationships. Young women are not sexual commodities and young men are not entitled to request and circulate these kinds of intimate images.

Some girls feel unfairly pestered and harassed to the point they do not exercise proper volition. Some photos have been taken with consent but are later used without assent. Others were seemingly taken without consent. This is not fun, it is not harmless. It is degrading and humiliating. It is made worse when a victim has sought to have images removed only to be further demeaned. The consequences for young people are substantial.

When we realise someone may be harmed we should take steps to prevent the harmful action from occurring. When we know someone has been harmed, we should try to repair the harm insofar as we can. Some may have followed the Amanda Todd story several years ago. After photos were put on the internet, she sought help only to be further abused. She eventually took her life.

We all need to understand the experience of what it means to be targeted and abused in these ways. Children should stop requesting and forwarding nude shots. Boys and girls need help in how to respond to unwanted requests.

Some young people become disinhibited online. Such is the optimism of youth that some feel invincible. Some make poor choices. Some are pathological. Some young men need to develop empathy; the capacity to feel with another. Some need help to understand better what consent involves and to grow